Thursday, 28 August 2014

A few tough days....

The feelings of guilt that wash over someone with bipolar can be heightened by those around us when they assume that we are somehow "cured" or "milking" the situation.  The fact that there are a couple days in a row where we can get up out of bed in the morning and even get a shower doesn't mean we are ready to tackle a huge list of projects. 

My wife (Vigor) is having a tough time returning to work and now facing the possibility that she will be the main bread winner in the family.  This wasn't her plan as she saw her future having her taking our boys (almost 3 - Stripes and Silly who is 1.5 yrs old - names changed obviously) to school each morning.  Now she is telling me on an almost daily basis that she is going to break down as she has so much more stress. 

I don't know how to cope with my daily stuff as we already have a nanny taking care of the kids while she is at work.  Today was supposed to be a good day as Great West Life approved my Long Term Disability claim which was something that was a cause of concern.  Now I should have the income and time to get through rehab and to begin to reshape my life again.  How that will look and my ability to earn income at prior levels is unknown but unlikely.  People keep telling me that the work life balance will now shift to the life part and that isn't easy in the finance industry.

So many unknowns and so much guilt and fear.  And people wonder why we say we feel hopeless.

Live another day ...  WithVigor

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