Tuesday, 19 August 2014

A typical day

What exactly is a typical day for someone with bipolar?  I am still not sure of that and the medication sure isn't helping yet with keeping me on a regular schedule.  About the only thing the drugs are doing at this point is keeping me from ever needing or wanting to drink.  So that is a huge step in the right direction but now I have horrible concentration and focus.

Most mornings feel like I need another 4-5 hours sleep even when I get to bed early.  There are nights like tonight where I am awake at this time but this isn't typical.  The Zoloft is supposed to help me get to sleep but without listening to an audiobook it seems like my mind is racing. 

I have a long history of looking at financial markets and news that impacts those markets and this time has me more anxious than ever before.  Since 2008 I haven't felt that the market has ever corrected the errors that caused the financial crisis.  Now we see even more fighting around the world and the US needing to do so much more to protect its status as the petrodollar.  The way my mind works the eventual WWIII type scenario is most likely to play out.  Now ask me to be positive about the family and our future?! 

Almost everything I look at really ends in some sort of disaster... that is why I have been working so hard with my EAP (employee assistance program) to get into Homewood so I can get treatment.


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